Albacete Warrior Review | TheXboxHub

We may in all probability rely the video games which have made us giggle constantly on one hand. Perhaps on two fingers. It’s so, so troublesome, not solely as a result of humour is wildly subjective, however comedic timing is extremely arduous when the participant has management over that timing. It’s a surprise that humorous video games even exist. 

Albacete Warrior is a comedic achievement. However not as a result of it manages to affix the elite membership of video games which might be genuinely humorous. Albacete Warrior is, with none doubt, the least humorous comedy recreation we have now ever performed. Which is, certainly, an achievement (and we’ve performed Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard). The badness feels willful, just like the builders needed that crown. One way or the other, it manages to make us sigh and cringe on the similar time. We singe. 

Let’s offer you a style. The Spanish ninja, Benito, grabs the neck of a rooster and makes use of it as a weapon. However that rooster is white, so for your entire the rest of the sport Benito makes jokes about his white cock, strangling his cock, flashing his cock at women, and using his cock to a brand new stage. It goes on and on and frigging on, like that annoying one that thinks you haven’t heard a joke, so retains repeating it, time and again, getting nearer and extra frantic and determined. Cock. Cock. COCK.

Bosses don’t simply assault you, they fart, crap and flash themselves at you. Trump turns up, as a result of that’s humorous sufficient by itself, apparently. It’s a bit like Jim Davidson taking on the writing of a Mrs Brown’s Boys episode, should you can think about that. 

What makes all of this a comedic hellscape is that it’s poorly translated, too. Albacete Warrior is clearly written by somebody whose English is just not of the best commonplace, and that’s wonderful. However when mixed with the smutty jokes, you usually simply get complicated burps of crudeness that don’t make a lot sense. If it was on Recreation Cross, we would have inspired you to strive it free of charge, simply to see what it’s like. It’s an expertise. 

The graphics redeem issues a bit. We fairly just like the look of Albacete Warrior, using because it does on the highly regarded 2.5D artwork model. Flat 2D sprites trundle round on a 3D atmosphere, like Octopath Traveller if everybody took some LSD and began a farting competitors. It’s acquired some nostalgic hints of Starfox-era 16-bit video games, and we felt proper at house. 

The music’s nice too. Whereas we had been groaning from the comedy, confused by the story, and bashing our heads towards the lounge desk due to the gameplay (that’s a deal with we’re but to disclose), then not less than we had a great soundtrack to get pleasure from. There’s an eclectic mixture of types right here, which inserts the entire ‘Spanish ninja’ culture-mashup to a tee. 

However the gameplay. Oh gods, the unholy gameplay. Albacete Warrior is an action-platformer. We might have paid chilly, arduous money for it to have simply caught to the ‘motion’ bit, because the platformer suffix is nightmare gas. We nonetheless can’t imagine we managed to finish sure platforming sequences in Albacete Warrior. 

The place to even begin. There’s essentially the most pronounced, complicated lag to the bounce that we have now possible ever skilled. We counted precise seconds between urgent the bounce button and the bounce occurring on-screen. That is made worse – worse – in conditions like wall-jumps. You might be clinging onto a wall, urgent the bounce button, however haven’t any response in any respect from Benito. He continues to slip down, blinking at us and possibly desirous about cock.

When he does bounce from the wall, that bounce is completely random. It is perhaps an enormous leap, springing with extra velocity than he actually ought to. Or it may very well be a diddy one, leaving barely any room for a double-jump or sprint that will get you to the opposite platform. It’s a whole roll of the cube. Now think about twenty, thirty of those jumps in sequence, and it’s important to begin once more should you fail. It’s water torture. We’ve given up, spun round, picked up the pad, had one other go, after which given up extra occasions than we will rely. 

Depth notion is a factor, too. Benito, presumably as a result of he’s 2D, casts no shadow, so leaping into or out of the digital camera turns into a minefield. A minefield with no depth notion. 

We may checklist these points all day. The double-jump generally doesn’t trouble triggering. The frenzy, too. There’s a slight slide as you start and finish a bounce, so you’ll be able to simply tumble off platforms should you land near an edge. Candy Mary, Mom of Jesus, Albacete Warrior is a travesty of a platformer. 

It’s actually higher as a brawler, however we have now to watch out right here. The fight is so, so significantly better than its platforming that it’s simple to go excessive and have fun it as some form of second-coming of fight. However, with some detachment, it’s merely okay. The 2D sprites in a 3D atmosphere results in an terrible lot of imprecision, as you assume you’ve sidled as much as a sombrero-wearing enemy, solely to seek out that you’re off by a pixel. The depth notion assaults once more. 

However join with an enemy, and there’s some enjoyable right here. Combos might be shaped with the X, Y and B buttons, and a blink-out-of-existence RT transfer is a refreshing tackle the dodge-roll. Bosses, once they’re not strolling punchlines, are fairly good too. They arrive packaged with a number of phases and assaults, and killing them is a real problem. In addition they include the reassurance that there gained’t be any sodding platforming for the following 5 minutes. 

There’s one solitary overview of Albacete Warrior on-line, on the time of writing, and so they had been gushing with reward for its humour. It exhibits how subjective comedic video games might be, as a result of we discovered Albacete Warrior to be dumbfoundingly unfunny, like a moist fart at a funeral. Really, Albacete Warrior would have chuckled at that one. 

However when that clunky humour is coupled with some stunningly dangerous platforming, you’ve a recreation that you just’d should be really masochistic to strive. Actually, it’s not price it.

You should purchase Albacete Warrior from the Xbox Retailer