For the reason that Dragon Age collection takes place in other places and occasions inside BioWare’s fantasy universe, we’ve had the chance to hop across the universe and kiss males from completely different eras of the, properly, Dragon Age. However whereas we could love our online game love pursuits, maybe it’s price reflecting on whether or not or not these relationships could be possible have been they not sure collectively by a world-ending occasion like The Blight or the invasion of Corypheus.
Positive, Iron Bull’s romance in Dragon Age: Inquisition is undeniably sizzling, however what occurs when the outlet within the sky is not spitting demons out into the actual world and also you simply must stay with one another?
That in thoughts, allow us to rank the Dragon Age boyfriends on how a lot they’re precise, real-life boyfriend materials.
10. Solas
I don’t must hypothesize as as to whether or not Solas could be a great boyfriend as a result of he was already a horrible one within the Dragon Age video games. This man spends the whole thing of Inquisition mendacity to you about the actual purpose he’s been serving to you, which is to assist get his world-ending plan again on monitor after he fucked it up. Even in the event you’re in a romantic relationship with the man, this fact doesn’t come to gentle till after he dips on the finish of the sport and tells you why he ghosted you within the DLC. Sure, it’s tragic, it’s angsty, and it makes for nice drama, however in the future you, too, will likely be outdated and drained and need somebody who’s simply gonna be there while you get house from work. This man is just too busy attempting to destroy the world for a righteous trigger to care about seeing you each night time. Worst rl boyfriend, simply.
9. Sebastian Vael
Look, Sebastian sucks. In Dragon Age II, the man is so beholden to the church that he’s continually judging folks, together with you. He’s additionally a chaste romance, if that’s your factor, but when it’s not, you’re gonna be left wanting on the behest of a god who left you and everybody else behind a very long time in the past. He’s not attempting to destroy the world, so he does get to come back out above Solas, however you are able to do higher, buddy. Now we have eight bachelors but to go…
8. Fenris
I like Fenris. He was my romance choice each time I’ve performed Dragon Age II, and the rival romance between him and a mage Hawke performs out as scrumptious angst. However because the years have handed, I’ve cooled rather a lot on the connection as a result of it simply has numerous abusive undertones. The intercourse scene is sparked by an argument, then Fenris shoving you right into a wall, lit up along with his lyrium tattoos prepared to achieve by means of your chest and crush your coronary heart. It illustrates the abuse Fenris has gone by means of, and the scene itself could be very earned. It really works properly in a online game and on An Archive of Our Personal, however within the context of an actual romance the crimson flags hold popping up. Yeah, by the tip Fenris and Hawke develop and have a greater relationship, but when that shit occurred as soon as, it will possibly occur once more.
7. Cullen Rutherford
Cullen is a wildcard as a result of his romance scene in Dragon Age: Inquisition exhibits he is aware of learn how to offer you that good good and throws all his shit off his desk to do it. However he additionally looks like the form of man who, after you’d gotten properly and settled, would begin asking why you haven’t made dinner for when he will get house from work and inform you that your job must be to maintain the youngsters, reasonably than having a profession and lifetime of your individual. He appears candy and chivalrous, however that may additionally come from some extraordinarily backward views on relationships. So proceed with warning. You already know the joke about liberals who appear to be Republicans? That’s Cullen, and it’s a coin flip for what you’re truly going to get.
6. Anders
Look, I do know. However please hear me out earlier than you begin throwing tomatoes. Anders is possessed by the spirit of Justice, however he’s additionally possessed by his devotion to his trigger. And that devotion extends to you, as properly. You need a man who’s obsessed with you? That’s Anders. You assume a person who blew up a church in an act of terro—uh, revolution goes to ever half-ass your birthday or not admire the massive moments of your lives collectively? No, this man is gonna do one thing explosive for each life occasion you there’s…as long as he doesn’t spot some nice injustice occurring elsewhere on the earth that may distract him. Good factor the world is a totally simply and good place wherein nobody is being disproportionately harmed by societal constructions, proper?
5. Blackwall
Blackwall is a liar, and as we established earlier once we talked about Solas—to not point out within the Mass Impact boyfriend rating—that’s fairly unhealthy. However Blackwall’s lie is an efficient lie, as a result of he’s attempting to maintain the legacy of a greater man alive whereas attempting to atone for his sins. Not like Solas and the others, his lie will not be egocentric. Assuming Blackwall’s id did enable Thom Rainier to keep away from his tortured previous, however he owns as much as it after which there are not any secrets and techniques between him and the Inquisitor. Then you definitely simply have a man who’s a broody gentleman that may combat and die for you.
4. Zevran Arainai
While you meet Zevran in Dragon Age: Origins, it’s as a result of he’s attempting to kill you. However while you defeat him, the murderer tells you that he’ll activate his employer in alternate for his life. Within the early bits of the connection, Zevran is out for himself. You overcome that detachment within the romance, till finally you’re left with a humorous, attractive goofball who brightens your day along with his antics. If you’d like somebody who’s going to show your frown the other way up in the course of the darkest occasions, you possibly can’t go improper with this murderer turned golden retriever pet.
3. Alistair
Certainly Alistair is the least skilled of the Dragon Age boyfriend pantheon. Which means he’s acquired rather a lot to be taught, however since he’s not been enjoying the sport, you possibly can assume some degree of purity in his intentions and willingness to really feel the connection out. The place Cullen seems like a dangerous proposition as a result of he appears the kind to harbor prehistoric views, Alistair appears too naive to need to do something apart from worship the bottom you stroll on. He’s a doofus, however he’s humorous and kind-hearted. Simply don’t ask him to take up the duty of being a king or he’ll resent you eternally.
2. Iron Bull
As SZA as soon as mentioned in an SNL sketch, “it’s cuffin’ season, and all the ladies are leavin’ to get a giant boy.” She was undoubtedly singing about Iron Bull. This qunari large is all about boundaries and consent, and serving you and your wants each out and in of the bed room. Iron Bull is the form of man who will do something to guard and serve his mate, and the person won’t relaxation till you’re content material with each side of your life and relationship. Iron Bull received’t surrender on you, until you utterly betray his belief and get all his buddies killed. Which is legitimate, as a result of in that case you have been the issue within the relationship.
1. Dorian Pavus
Dorian is an excessive amount of of an idealist to ever need something apart from the most effective for you. When he’s not being a revolutionary tearing down the corruption of his homeland, Dorian is the form of man who will come house and fear that you simply’re working your self ragged with your individual obligations. He deflects with humor while you ask him about how he’s doing, however then opens up as a result of he’s simply as comfy with you as you’re with him. He’ll have some internalized homophobia to unpack, which comes from rising up with an oppressive, prejudiced upbringing, however when you’ve helped him untangle that abuse, he’ll be your rock, simply as you’re his.
